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 I have no talents...

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cheam

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:41 pm

Japan

Junk
Adult
Prostitute
Asshole
Nude
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cheam

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:45 pm

America

Anne
Marries
English
Rapist
In
Central
Africa
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cheam

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:47 pm

France

Fuck
Roughly
And
Never
Care
Ending
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:47 pm

tetsu wrote:
dat looks like ur own creation...
mine is from an email wan pls do not think im dat creative

memang my creation
the 1 below oso my creation
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darienchoo

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:47 pm

有一個外國人在買電影票時排在一個中學生後面,
售票小姐因為不會說英文,
就請站在前面的中學生告訴後面的外國人說現在只剩站票,
看他要不要買,結果中學生就對外國人說:
‘No seat, you see no see if see stand see.’
 (沒位子了, 你看不看, 如果要看,站著看)
外國人聽完後,對中學生說:
‘I don't understand your English.’
中學生聽到就對售票小姐說:
‘他說他不懂英文.’
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:55 pm

有一天
麵包先生走在路上
走著走著。。。
他忽然覺得肚子很餓
結果...






他就把自己吃掉了.....
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tetsu

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:02 pm

lol ur jokes so wuliao...where u get them?

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:04 pm

水餃先生和水餃小姐結婚了,邀請一些親朋好友到家作客,喜宴吃完了,

客人都散光了之後,水餃先生和水餃小姐就準備要親熱了,到房間裡,

水餃先生門一關,轉頭看到肉丸子躺在床上,

並大聲喊:『你是誰,幹麻躺在我床上?我老婆呢?』

這時肉丸子開口說:『難道...難道人家脫掉衣服你就不認得人家了嗎?
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:13 pm

有一天,小明和他姊姊在家打混,爸爸則在房間睡覺。剛好有一郵差送掛號信來,這時當然要叫爸爸起來簽收,於是姊姊就叫小明去叫爸爸,沒想到.....
小明卻說:一定要叫爸爸嗎?
姊姊就說:廢話!這時候一定要叫爸爸啦!
於是小明就心不甘情不願的走到郵差前大叫: 爸~~爸~~!

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:16 pm

tetsu wrote:
lol ur jokes so wuliao...where u get them?

i took in from a forum i always go... all is cold jokes.. bcs i love cold jokes...

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:18 pm

女走夜路,突然看到一男张开双臂向她走来,做拥抱状,上前就是一脚.男子倒地大哭,说:








都第三块了,
我招谁惹谁了,
带块玻璃回家就这么难么?

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:33 pm

兒子:「爸爸,假如有一天我考了全班第一名,您會怎樣?」
父親:「那我一定高興死了。」
兒子:「爸爸,您這樣的擔心是多餘的,我是孝子,不會讓您死的。」

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JulianWong

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:18 pm

Cccold!!! Who turned down the a-air cond???

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cheam

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:20 am

a and b r working 2gether
suddenly, b did a stupid mistake
a angrily scold him and ask him "do u know how zhu bak gai die??? juz like u 笨死
then, a did the same mistake tis time b wanna revenge and ask a do he know how zhu bak gai die a quickly reply:" u haven die how i know"...�
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:34 pm

有一天小明訂了一個PIZZA.




服務生問:"請問你的PIZZA要切成四塊還是六塊呢?"



小明:"那我切成四塊好了,因為切六塊我吃不完!"

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:38 pm

從前有位好奇寶寶
有一次他為了看冰箱最多可以多冷
他就跑進了冰箱躲了一天
體溫...慢慢的下降....
30.....
20......
10......
0.........

結冰了!!!!

小明媽:"小明今天怎麼那麼晚回來,奇怪了...算了 先煮飯巴!!"
當小明媽打開冰箱時候嚇了一跳
小明已經變成冰棒了!!

小明媽:"999嗎?快叫一台救護車!!我的兒子要死了!!!"
這時小明張開了眼睛
小明媽:"小明,你怎樣了? 有沒有啥麼不舒服!!!??"
小明:"媽....我只想說一句話....."
小明媽:"你說, 你快說...."
小明:"媽.........



好冷喔.........."

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:40 pm

darien
can put some funny ones
cold jokes very sien 1 arh

某天小黄上班时接到一通电话,只见小黄讲没两句就匆匆忙忙地跑去向经理请假。 小黄对经理说:【经理,我要请假,我老婆要生孩子。】 经理:【好的,你快去!这种事不要耽误。】 于是小黄二话不说,飞也似的就走了。 二十分钟后,小黄有点衣衫不整地回来了...... 经理看到他就问:【怎么这么快就回来?生男还是生女的?】 小黄:【要过十个月后才知道。】 plz let tis be the last cold joke�
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:33 pm

oh.... change now change now... this is nt cold joke gua...

有一天,媽媽邀請了她的同學來家裡吃飯, 媽媽準備了烤雞,卻發現忘了買果汁。

於是,媽媽告訴小洋:「媽媽出去買果汁,你幫我照顧烤雞,不要讓小白(狗狗)動烤雞,懂嗎?」

小洋說:「OK!OK!沒問題~~!」

媽媽聽完小明說的話後,就出去買果汁。

小洋一見媽媽出門了,就轉過頭,準備要把小白趕出去。卻發現,小白已經站在烤雞旁邊了。

小洋:「小白!你聽清楚了,你怎麼對那隻雞,我就怎麼對你!」

小洋瞪著小白~~~小白停留了幾秒後,好像聽懂了小洋的話。

但它卻轉過頭,對著烤雞屁股舔了一下。

小洋:「……」

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:37 pm

百萬富翁開著豪華的轎車經過一個村落時,
看見路旁有兩個乞丐正在拔草吃,百萬富翁隨即停下車。
"你們為什麼吃草?"
"我們實在是沒有錢......"一個乞丐答道。
"真是的,上車吧,到我家去。"
"我家裏還有老婆和兩個孩子......"一個乞丐嘟囔道。

"把他們叫來!"富翁指了指另一個乞丐。"還有你,把你的家屬也叫來。"

"我家人口可多,除了老婆外,還有五個孩子。"另一個乞丐說道.

"沒關係,都叫來,快去就這樣"

兩個乞丐和他們的家屬都上了車,
行駛途中,一個乞丐的老婆感激的說道:"老闆,您人真好,連我們這樣的貧窮的人您都能請到家......"。

百萬富翁答道:"沒什麼,我剛剛從國外回來,家宅一直沒人照看,院子裏的草坪可能有一米多高了,你們可以吃個夠!"

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:42 pm

tis time i try eng joke... actually it's translate by me... so.. if cant understand.. dun blame me..

A: "Hey, when u drink hot coffee, u use right hand or left hand to stir??"
B: "I use right hand"
A: " Wow ! U're COOL !! I usually use spoon to stir. U dun scare hot ah??"
B: ".....(damn)....."

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cheam

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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:19 pm

...
hot jokes...

i oso got 1

a guy went to the restoran and ordered a cup of coffee
when the waiter bring the coffe to him, he saw the waiters finger is in his coffee, so he tell the waiter:' ui, ur f**king finger is in my coffee."
the waiter reply:"its ok sir, i am not afraid of hot."
...
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:59 pm

1.GG:小姐,希望你是个心地善良的人,可以收养我的小孩。我快死了。
  MM:你快死了?你孩子多大了?
  GG:不大,还只是一个细胞而已。你养的活的。
  MM:细胞?什么意思?
  GG:就是精子啦。我想请你帮我养成小孩子。
  MM:怎么养?
  GG:我把我的JZ放在你那里。你帮我养大。好不好?
  MM:怎么放?
  GG:我们找个地方见个面,我想办法放进去就是了。其他的事情你不用管。好不好
  MM:你放哪儿?
  GG:下面吧,应该很安全。可以吗?
  MM:为什么要你放?
  GG:你不是答应了嘛?
  MM:答应你个头,还是把你的孩子放进你家的马桶里最好,去死吧。
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:59 pm

2.GG:小姐。贵姓?
  MM:你妈
  GG:中国百家姓有姓你的吗?
  MM:滚!
  GG:你怎么知道我在滚动鼠标?
  MM;你烦不烦呀?
  GG:如果你觉得我烦我就不说话,那我们来做爱吧!
  MM:做你个头。
  GG:我有两个头,你喜欢哪一个都可以。
  MM:......
  GG:你在SY吗?为什么那么久不回话?
 MM:......
  GG:你一定在SY,我帮你好了。你会很舒服的。
  MM:我求求你。当我是个屁,把我放了吧!
  GG:如果你是我的精子,我一定放你的。
  MM:我是你妈,把你爸的祖宗十八代都操了。
  GG:操我爸先过我这关!
  MM:......你去开房吧!
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:00 pm

3.GG:好久没见!
  MM:你谁啊?
  GG:我呀,忘记了?
  MM:谁啊?到底是谁?
  GG:上个礼拜我们才去开房的啊,怎么那么快就忘记了?
  MM:....不会吧,你是XXX?
  GG:不是。原来你真的去开房呀?那我们也去,好不好?
  MM;......你谁啊。
 GG:不废话了。去开房你就知道了。
  MM;你说你是谁,不认识我不去。
  GG:那先出来喝个茶不就认识了?
  MM:好吧。在哪儿?
  ......
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PostSubject: Re: I have no talents...   Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:00 pm

4.GG:恐龙?
  MM;青蛙?
 GG:美女?
  MM:帅哥?
  GG:我们真投缘!
  MM:滚!
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